CanDo

Power of Positive Thought

This week I took a course offered by the Ontario Government called “Thought Patterns”, presented by the York region franchise of the “Academy of Learning”. The facilitator was a woman names Judith Seki. Her background was amazing and her ability to engage and stimulate our group’s discussion was outstanding.

Some of the interesting things I learned and would like to share:

We have 3 seconds to make a first impression and 3 minutes to fix the other party’s impression of us. Once set, it could take us years to overcome and turn that person, from someone who has a low opinion of us, into someone interested in spending time with us.

If we think about how much we can say or do in 3 seconds, let alone 180 seconds; we are limited and therefore must focus on some very simple, yet, ultimately essential attributes.

People will of course, unless it is a telephone call, immediately react to how we look. They will then think about things like: are we on time, do we know their name, are we smiling, are we standing up straight, do we look them in the eyes, is our attire appropriate, do we demostrate the appropriate level of respect, what is the tonality of our voice, how do we greet them and how do we respond to their greeting?

Obviously if the conversation is over the telephone, via email, IM or in a chat room we are limited by tools we can use. Therefore our focus must be on the tone we employ in our written or verbal communications and the content we convey.

Three seconds is up, they have formed a first impression. Now we have another 177 seconds of time to set that impression in stone. Is our posture appropriate to the setting and conversation, do we have a good opening story (the 30 second helicopter or elevator pitch), do we listen attentively to what they have to say, do we let them talk two thirds of the time, are we pacing ourselves accordingly, is our tone and volume appropriate and do we show the right level of emotion?

Assuming we achieve a positive result in this first 3 minutes, the balance of the discussion is to determine if you are the right person for the job, is the product you are selling matched to their needs or will they hire you to help them achieve some specific task.

We then spoke about the three attitudes we can take in such initial meetings or frankly whenever we encounter others. These attitudes are:

  • Aggressive which can be either positive or negative
  • Passive which can also be positive or negative
  • Assertive which is always positive and allows us the opportunity to take on an aggressive or passive attitude, based on the circumstances and what we are discussing or why we are having the discussion

Next we spoke about perception and how our brain processes input and develops output. Interesting statistic – more than 75% of daily conversation is negative. During this part of the discussion I came away with a different understanding of perception and reality. Bottom line, “My Reality” is unique and is based on how my neurons have been imprinted.

Can we change the way we perceive things and adjust the pathways of our brain? Absolutely, we must understand our existing habits, attitudes and beliefs and determine which ones are not working for us and adjust our thinking and change, in a positive way, our attitudes, habits and beliefs.

Once we know what our negative habits, attitudes or beliefs are we can work on changing our thinking by thinking about what, why or how we would prefer to think and then:

  • Say It! Earn one point for every-time you say it.
  • Do It! by exhibiting the new behavior. Earn ten points every-time you do it
  • Get It! by having others provide positive reinforcement. Earn 100 points every-time someone provides you with that affirmation.

The more points you earn the faster that new pathways will be established and the sooner the old negative pathways will cease to exist.

On the second day, after talking about what beliefs are and understanding we have the ability to choose how to believe,we were ready to move on to the next step.

We focused on how one goes about establishing goals and developing an action plan to achieve our goals. We all knew that if we set our goals too big or made them unachievable then the results will be as one would expect. So we must focus on defining bite sized goals.

As a consultant and executive I thought I knew how to set goals for companies, divisions, units or teams. Yet even though I was on the right track, I learned some interesting lessons.

  • A goal can not be longer than one sentence. It must start beginning with the words “I will be, do or have …”
  • They must be “SMART” Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Recorded and Time specific.

As a result of this session, I set my first three goals:

  • I will start talking to a minimum of 10 people every weekday by March 31st, 2008.
  • I will be recruited as an executive with responsibility for strategy, innovation, projects, products and/or sales support by the end of 2008.
  • I will take two trips for pleasure by December 31st 2008.

They are now recorded, they are measureable they are specific they are achievable and they are time specific.

At one stage during the course we were asked to develop four statements that began with the words “I have …”. Each of us developed our four sentences and told them to another person. Then Judith asked us to change the word “have” to “choose” and restate our four objectives. Interesting how different it felt when we used the words “I choose …” verses “I have …”. Suddenly from being a command, they become objectives that we each decided would positively improve our lives. It was an eye opener to see how one word can change our whole emotional and physical feeling about what we set out to do.

Not wanting to simply record what I learned over the four days I will focus the balance of this blog on insights that I acquired.

Visualization, an interesting word with the powerful ability to allow us to focus on changing our attitudes, beliefs and habits from being negative to being positive. Affirmation and self talk are tools we can employ to help focus our minds and help us to move forward towards a more positive attitude about ourselves and our situation. Talking to ourselves in a mirror will remind us to have a happy face and look ourselves in the eyes.

As we progressed, each of us exhibited negative feelings, fears or distress. As we discussed the obstacles that could delay or stop us from achieving our goals, many of us exhibited frustration. As we explored the list of obstacles, we came to realize that obstacles are not external, but instead they are self imposed.

We came to understand that setting our goals requires that we:

  • Understand what you really want
  • Understand what it costs both in monetary and non-monetary terms
  • Understand that we might have to make sacrifices to achieve our goals

Obviously, as previously mentioned, our goals have to be achievable or they are not SMART.

Clearly in developing our action plan we may find others are involved or affected. If we think about military tactics it is clear that if you surround your enemy and give them no means of escape; they will fight to the death. So always leave those that could prevent you from achieving your goal a back door, so that they can get out of your way gracefully.

While understanding that we must make sure we leave others a way of exiting gracefully; we must also make sure that we close all doors that we could use to escape.

At one point during the session we had the opportunity to watch and discuss the film “Patch Adams”. Our discussion focused on first impressions, perception, beliefs, goals, naysayers, memory joggers, visualization, self-talk, choice and obstacles. Using Patch Adams, as an example of someone who emerged from being suicidal into the visionary and inspirational medical professional he is today; provided us with the clarity to understand, if we set our minds to something we can achieve amazing results. It also reminds us that the most successful solution is laughter and making sure everyone has fun.

On the last day we moved on to addressing the subject of stress. Judith reminded us that obstacles are self imposed whereas stress has chemical and physical ramifications. Therefore we needed to pay attention to what caused us stress, what would or have been the results and how can we minimize or better handle stress. It is important to note that managing stress can come in a variety of forms, and there is no one way of getting through stressful periods. From utilizing therapy resources to going onto websites like mmj express for recreational products, people can find something that works for them, they just have to give it time and patience.

The first time we identified what causes stress, we all focused on the negative. Clearly how we identify the cause of stress comes from our perception. Coping with stress is a balance between the stress we are under and our coping skills. Most of us might resort to canndy edibles or other products to try and resolve stress on our own or actually reach out to a therapist to gain a better understanding of the problem and take professional help.

The interesting thing about stress is that stress can be either a positive or a negative force in our lives. Starting out with the assumption that stress is all bad and therefore must be eliminated is not going to get us where we want to go. Clearly, each of us must develop methods and mechanisms to cope with the negative effects of stress such as meditation, music, hobbies, vacations, sex, and laughter. Some might even opt to take CBD oil which is available at outlets like Vibes CBD to manage their stress problem. It has proven to be helpful in this regard to many. Similarly, we must embrace an attitude of gratitude and one of seeking help and support. Obviously, this is one person’s abbreviated list. Others might include painting, aroma therapy or lying in the sun as part of their inventory of coping skills.

Bottom line, to address the negative causes of stress, we must develop an arsenal of tools and techniques to help us cope with these causes of stress. Whether it requires us to change our dietary habits or include meditation or yoga in our daily routine, we should be ready to incorporate these changes. To achieve instant relaxation, however, for extremely stressful days, we can also keep some Mellow Road CBD products handy. Simultaneously, we must make sure we focus positive stress towards accomplishing our goals and get on with our daily lives.

To close the session we were introduced, through a video called “The Joy of Stress” to an extraordinary woman, Loretta La-Roche. For forty minutes she had her live audience and those of us watching the video constantly laughing.

Through her use of humor she reminded us of what we had already learned; stress can be either positive or negative. She told us that we had to “work to prevent a hardening of attitude”. She told us that one of our greatest fears is what will others think and “is anybody watching”.

She asked us to commit ourselves to “Stop Global Whining”.

She demonstrated the power of humor. She showed us that “laughter makes you happy”. She reminded us that “laughter is contagious” and that working to make others laugh will brighten your day and, better yet, brighten their day.

She told us that if we walk around looking grumpy we will feel grumpy. But, if we start out with a smile on our face we will feel happy inside. “You feel how you think”, “your mind mimics your expression”, “how you look is how you feel” and “how you look makes you feel a certain way”. All demonstrated by how we felt when she forced us to put a smile on our face and forced us to laugh.

She repeated a phrase we had heard earlier in our session. A phrase that emerged when we listed the obstacles to moving towards a positive self; “fake it till you make it”.

She told us how it has been proven when people introduce some form of play in their work, productivity increases. Imagine the shareholders reward if they demand that management makes coming to work fun.

She reminded us that we all think that we worry because it helps us to prepare. Then she rattled off a series of statistics.

40% of what we worry about will never happen
30% of what we worry about are historic events
22% of what we worry about are trivialities
4% of what we worry about we is outside our control and cannot change
4% of what we worry about are real events that we can act on

96% of what we worry about we can’t do anything about anyway.

So why waste all that energy.

One frightening thing she said and quite a sobering lesson.

“Optimists live longer”

and

“Pessimists are accurate, but, don’t live as long”

In closing she reminded us that

Yesterday is history

Tomorrow is a mystery

Today is a gift

That’s why it’s called the present

As I come to a close I am reminded that when I was a child I had very few things to worry about, I laughed at all sorts of things, I didn’t worry about what you thought of my antics and I had fun.

So in conclusion “Find Your Inner Child” have fun, laugh, smile and be happy. That’s what I am going to try to do to help myself.

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If you are interested in this program you can contact the York region of the Academy of Learning either on +1 (905) 836 8973 or +1 (905) 508 5791. At this stage their program is only available in the York region on Ontario, Canada.

Maybe you can convince them to license it to a franchisee near you.

Is God the joining of the Earth Father and The Earth Mother into one flesh, that which we call God

This morning my common law partner and I were embraced in the oneness God created to bring man and woman together as said in Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and will join with his wife and they will be one flesh. and Again Jesus says in Mark 10:6-8 But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.  For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will join to his wife.and the two will become one, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Again in Matthew 19:4-6 Matthew once again quoted these words from our Lord Jesus.  In each of these passages God, both as father and son state very clearly that Man and Woman will bond and will become one with each other.  we can see this as the beginning of what we know as the intimate act of a man and woman when they physically join as one.

Yet we must think deeper than this.  Not only does man and woman join as God has ordained they also find deep and lasting enjoyment in this joining of the flesh.  For each the feeling and the sense of intimacy is different.  For the man, who I can speak for, it is an act that can, in some instances, be overpowering, it is an act that requires work as the man enters and pleasures his wife.  It is a demonstration of his power and is work.  For the woman, I can only imagine, it is a time when she receives her man within her womb.  It is a time where she shares in the intimacy of the oneness and it is a time where the woman cherishes and brings comfort to her husband.

So this oneness of a couple must also be a demonstration of the difference between man and woman.  The man is the stronger and more viral participate while the woman is the more giving and receiving participant.  Is it in this, God ordained the merging of flesh, that we begin to note the differences God built into man so that he would be the stronger, the one that would go out and work the fields and hunt for food.  While the woman is the more sensitive one that focuses on building binding relationships and meets her man in an act of intimacy pleasing to the two, reproductive of the species and most importantly a way of demonstrating her cherishing and giving spirit.

From these thoughts I then remembered, in Genesis 1:26 God said, “let us make man in our image, after our likeness”.  This plurality suggests that God is not alone and that he made man in the image of the maleness of God and woman in the femaleness of God.  Does this suggest that God is actually two who have joined as one?

Then we read of angels and wonder from where they come.  Maybe it is from the joining of the male and female that is God.

Maybe the ancients or the gentiles who believed in concepts of an earth mother is simply an expression of the half of God that is female. Is it these same ancients who saw the powerful images of Zeus and Apollo, were they simply recognizing the maleness of what we know now as the one God, the union of the earth father and the earth mother?

China, socialism and the world of electronic health records.

Today during a most enlightened networking meeting, beyond what someone in transition normally speaks of, we got into a most interesting and thought provoking conversation.

Electronic Health Care Records

Somehow we got into a discussion of the evolution and problems involved in developing the electronic patient record.  The gentleman, who will remain nameless, remembered a conversation he had with a man who was involved with the United Kingdom’s work on the exploration of space.  This knighted individual apparently suggested the key issue with developing the electronic health record was the issue of creating the patient’s electronic history from the previous pencil and pen records.

His approach to solving this problem was to use prisoners as the codifiers.  Of course such an idea immediately causes one to worry about privacy and the threat to the patient and doctors when these prisoners were freed.

As we talked an interesting thought occurred.  How often is a patient’s history relevant?  How often is the doctor quite happy to meet with a patient and simply focus on the symptoms described during that  persons visit?

As we reflected, we both realized that often the patient’s history will never be pertinent to a future diagnosis.  In those situations where the history is relevant, let’s say 10%, then there is value to the effort of codifying historic medical records, charts and the like.  The doctor and his office staff can find the time to organize the codification of the relevant data.  Clearly such an approach with the reduction is the cost of establishing the basic health record, is connected with the value a complete electronic health record will have in reducing the cost of long term care, something insurance companies and public health authorities can understand.

For that 90%, after the doctor has become automated and is part of a system designed to capture and retain the Patient Health Record, at the next appointment the doctor in conjunction with the patient can record important facts such as allergies, reactions to drugs, existing conditions and any pertinent operations or procedures the patient can remember.

Only when this basic profile indicates conditions that will have future implications, is there a need to go through the effort of backtracking through the records and recording any pertinent information.

China and Socialism

I asked my companion what he was up to.  He talked about the five companies he was working with in China and the various trips he had taken to remote parts of that great country.  He said three things that stuck in my mind.

  1. He remembered a bus trip where he asked about unemployment.  His Chinese companions asked him to look out the window and tell them what he saw.  His response “everyone is working”, “there are no beggars on the street”.  They smiled and he was reminded that in this socialist environment one of the fundamentals is that everyone has work however menial it may be.
  2. We then spoke of the economic divide that is emerging and like in all countries this is a reality that will always exist unless we can evolve to that social utopia described as the purest form of socialism.  A society where every man works to his ability and everyone shares equally. He then reflected on the reality that mobile phones, TVs and other luxuries were everywhere and the age old work ethic that is China, will drive these people to want more, therefore, work harder to get more.  It is this work ethic that is China’s strength and will be the issue we will have to address as the world moves forward in time.  If we in the west continue to expand our leisure time and the Chinese continue to follow their nature and continue to focus on work.  Who will win?  I think the answer is evident.  Those that work  will be the ones who win.
  3. He then spoke of issues within the industrial complex where mine accident occurred or dangerous products are released.  The interesting comment was that those in power, the top three managers, are shot when such things happen.  Of course this form of behaviour is abhorrent and clearly a violation of Christian thinking or western thoughts of punishment.

Yet what is interesting, assuming they learn to balance the punishment (100 dead in a mine cave do to poor conditions and insufficient safety standards) to the crime, is that those ultimately responsible are ones that are punished.

I then reflected on what happens in our society.  The executives always seem to go unscathed.  They successfully push the blame down to the supervisors and little people who work and manage the place where the disaster occurred.

If we were to dig deep enough I am sure we would find that they did all they could do with the tools and budget they were provided.  Budgets and tools authorized by executives sitting in big offices taking down big salaries and only getting worried when shareholders not employees come screaming for justice.

Assuming that China is going to continue to evolve.  That they are going to embrace compassionate forms of punishment.  While at the same time maintaining their work ethic and maintaining the premise that responsibility is top down not middle down.  They will become not only an economic power to deal with, but a country with a strong moral sense of responsibility and thus a threat to the soft life that has become the western dream.

A dream that balances not working more than 40 hours a week with demands for more and more vacation.  China will be a country where hard work is rewarded, pleasures are sought and people have a moral sense of responsibility to each other.

We in the west need to be mindful and learn from those countries that take the goodness of socialism, merge it with the power of capitalism and the forces of the global economy.

As the World Turns everything changes and nothing is different

Often as I explore how our culture and our planet evolve; I am amazed at how we try to change everything with each succeeding generation.  We, and I remember when I was young, think that our thoughts are original and therefore believe that we were the first to dream it up.  Yet if we explore history we will find that the great and the unknown have probably already put forward the concept we believe to be so unique.  As an example think of the Helicopter, invented by Da Vinci, yet when he conceived it, he did not have the tools to make it work.

The difference is that as the tools become available we find that now we can build and create what we imagine is a new machines.  the reality, if we appreciate history, we find we now can  build those things that before were only in our or someone else imagination.

With those thoughts considered we find that we tend to circle back and adopt patterns that once were in vogue and then did not pass the test of time.  The best example is our explicate use of sexual overtones in advertising.  The idea that the spam we once  received for male enhancement products is no longer spam.  Today, these products are promoted on TV prime time. They are  simply examples of how we lost sight of the value of prudence and morality.  Do we want to learn about feminine products, or is that something our mothers will teach us or our doctors and health classes will education us about.  Do we need to know that your product is more absorbent than theirs or that you can go swimming if you buy this one?

Maybe in a generation or two we will once again realize that by exploiting the art of sex we create and stimulate thoughts that are not biblical and can in some cases harm people.  Then again, as so many great artists and photographers recognize, the naked body is a beautiful thing.  But, is the naked body art, when we use it to advertise cars, shampoo and who knows what else.

As a technologist I find that people think I have lost my edge given that I no longer understand the terminology they are using today.  Give me a thesaurus that matches words like a self contained subroutine to an object.  Then we can talk about methodologies.  Do these new words like “Cloud” improve productivity? I am sure some people believe they do.  More importantly do they assure the worlds population that they can get better jobs.  Do these new techniques assure the enterprise that we are doing a better job of documenting what we have built.  Does all of this assure the shareholders, stakeholders and customers they is getting what they asked for, are will to pay for and more important with cherish.

As an observer of our times I sometimes wonder if we are simply taken things to new extremes.  I wonder if our desire is simply to lure people into buying this or that.  For what?  Or are we simply selling products to earn a dollar, peso, euro, yen of pound.